And what is it that would work there, may I ask??
I do thank you for asking! It gets pretty simple, and I know it seems to be a complex topic.
If you are having communication issues or just want something for them that they seem to be 'missing', then listen up!
I just had this experience with a woman who came to a networking event where I was the featured speaker (love that!). She volunteered for a role play I do when someone is having problems with a particular person in their life.
The issue: Her daugher seemed to be 'lacking' in self confidence and the woman felt she could really 'help' her daugher out. (ouch!) Mind you, the daughter is grown, living in another city, with a child around 4 years old.
Role Play 1:
Woman (on the phone with said daughter): Oh, Sara, I really feel like I could help you a lot with your self confidence issues. Why don't you let me come down and help you?
Sara: Oh Mom, you always want to help me. I'm fine and I'm really busy right now so I don't see when it would be a good time for you to come down!
Role Play 2: (I have just put a feather BOA around her shoulders...a purple one! Now, the woman is twirling the BOA around, her body has relaxed, she is smiling and having fun...the audience is responding to her..)
Woman: Sara, honey! How are you??? I am so happy to get you on the phone... Hey, I was thinking... I'm free on Tuesday and would love to see you and Mikey. I'll just come on in for a short visit, we'll all go to the movies, get an ice cream, just have fun! What do ya say??
Sara: Wow, Mom! That would be fantastic! I know Mikey is missing you and I'd love for us to just go have fun!
Holy Cow! What a difference a few feathers made. And I heard that she did try this with her daughter AND got such a different response, much like the role play!
Moral to the story: Even in situations where you think 'it is never going to change', the key component is YOU and YOUR willingness to try something different....like putting on a purple feather BOA and seeing if your communication and connection can SHIFT!!!!
Remember...if you want things to change...SHIFT one thing!